For those of you who don’t know me – my name is Brooke – I’m a free spirited 27 year old, who has a deep passion for connection, travel, and sharing divine experiences with likeminded souls. Originally from the prairies of Canada, upon completing my Bachelor of Commerce degree – I elected to move down to the southern most point in Panama, and call Cambutal & Sansara home. In the past 5 years, (it’s hard to believe it’s been 5 years since we opened), my role has shifted and shaped, and now – by description – I am the Retreat Manager and Coordinator for this beautiful space. I have the pleasure of connecting with leaders and hosts from around the globe to help coordinate their dream retreat week. Needless to say, this requires a tonne of organization (I live for google drives and excel spread sheets), finding solutions for every possible problem (before they arise), and ensuring everything is hella clear so that all the beautiful retreaters can relax and enjoy their experience.
Well – for this slightly OCD, free spirit (is that an oxymoron?) what a challenge these last few weeks have been.
As everything is shifting in our worlds, it’s lending me the time & space to welcome vulnerability & take my turn at blogging. More so, I want to keep the Sansara Experience alive. We are a space that encourages transformation – a safe haven for our guests to find that connection and crack open to it. My goal through sharing some of my thoughts, is that they may resonate with each of you virtually, and eventually – we can connect here in real life.
So here we go…
For me, in this time of uncertainty, the word that keeps reappearing is fear – and I would be shocked if I was alone in this.
What the future holds, for our health, safety, the economy. This is huge; as it holds our livelihood – the actions and activities that allow us to feel alive are currently being restricted. As a millennial who flies by the seat of her pants (did I mention, I have the pleasure of exploring & working remotely for part of the year) finding the most extreme happiness in human connection and travel – it is most presenting the biggest challenge of my life – to simply just be.
As an active member and participant in the tourism and hospitality industry, I have been monitoring COVID-19 for the last few months; hoping and praying that our little slice of paradise here in Panama would remain protected, and we could all go about, “business as usual”. Well, how rapidly this global pandemic escalated.
In order for this protection to be maintained, Sansara was faced with the most difficult decision as a business to date, that of closing our doors – to prevent the spread, and flatten the curve of this crazy infectious virus. Ultimately, ensuring the health & safety of our staff, our guests, and our community was of the utmost importance, so that we can continue being a space of healing and safety in the future. In this closure, we were forced to let-go (albeit temporarily) many special individuals; the tribe that has been so carefully brought together to share the experience of Sansara with our guests. For any of you who have joined us, you know that while there are many beautiful places across the globe – the customized experience this good vibe tribe brings you is ultimately what separates us. It was the most heartbreaking day, closing our doors – and saying “see you later” to my friends who have become my family, without the heart to heart hug & kiss that we so commonly share.
Again, questions – anxiety – and fear coming back into the front lobe – when will I get to see my friends again, when will we be able to comfortably hug another individual without being afraid of getting sick, when will my job (something I feel beyond grateful to love as much as I do) return back to normal – and fear of what that new normal will look like — am I right? Is anyone else afraid that we will forget what authentic human connection FEELS like?
As I navigate through these uncharted territories (a term I have never used SO much in my life), I keep reminding myself to stay positive, above the line, and work from a place of faith. All the internal work I am in the business of consciously doing – to build my toolbox of being the best version of me; through seeking guidance from energy healers, leadership and personal development courses, practicing yoga & mindfulness – etc. — they are all being challenged right now; we are being asked to pull those tools out and make sure they are at their sharpest.
With all the fear crowding my mind, I was finding it hard to roll out my yoga mat, lace up my sneakers, wax my surfboard – or do anything that I know would provide my mind some clarity. And finally, when I allowed myself a moment to honour this fear stricken time – a quote that I heard many moons ago came crashing into me – “Faith and Fear cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time” – and it hit me a huge wave.
I need to accept those feelings of fear, acknowledge that they are present, and in doing so I can allow faith to reach the forefront. The global pandemic is out of my control – I don’t have the solutions to this problem – or an answer to any of the questions that are causing the chaos in my mind.
What I can control, is this present moment. Letting go of the past and the future – and allowing faith to be my guiding light.
Trusting in this process, learning to meet the anxieties with peace, and allowing myself the space to feel all the emotions without attaching a negative message behind it. After all, we are human – and it is in the dark that we are able to see the light. It is through these incredibly challenging times that we are able to grow and reach new heights.
I would be lying if this experience wasn’t the most challenging thing I have been through; personally and professionally. Yet, in this all – I am digging deep to find that silver lining, and allow it to perhaps turn to gold.
Currently, I am taking the moments to appreciate where I am and who I am. The practice I am consciously taking is that of gratitude. I am deeply grateful that I am in a country that is taking the precautions so seriously to protect its people, grateful that I am employed by a business thats goal is to provide a space of healing and nurturing not only to our guests, but to our staff as well, grateful to have friends & family who are vibrating on those same high frequencies, and ultimately – grateful that I am able to let go of the things I cannot control – to be present along this wild ride.
I challenge each of you, to accept your fears without judgement. Let go of the things you cannot control – and allow faith to step up to the plate.
Find the freedom in letting go.